THE ABANDONMENT

Constantly seeking to fill my gaps and shortcomings became my way of life and something natural. At all costs I avoided feeling that sense of loneliness, of being incomplete, broken.

There wasn’t enough alcohol, partying, and wildness to make this go away. Sundays were the worst days. I withdrew from my family. I immersed myself in work to “escape.” Food was the way I felt a little better momentarily. It became my refuge.

ABANDONMENT = LACK = EMPTY = ADDICTION

These last few days I had a big breakdown, I discovered that behind the ADDICTION to bread (although I already knew something) was that feeling of ABANDONMENT and LACK. This loneliness that sometimes overwhelms me and I think when I am in a relationship I will surely not feel like that anymore. Although in all my relationships I continued to replicate this abandonment or absence. Emotionally absent, mentally absent, affectively absent, this pattern was repeated. And even in a relationship I felt alone.

Despite all the therapy, detox and healing, I realized that the wound was still there, and it would open up and bleed again from time to time. The (symbolic) paternal abandonment, having separated from my father and family at the age of 9 to move to another country. I partly blamed my mother for this for a long time as well.

Being in a moment with a constant craving for bread made me realize, there is something here, that void that I constantly wanted to fill with bread, was actually the constant SEARCH for DAD.

In this photo 4 years ago, I am with my dad when he was still alive. After years of not being in contact, we became closer again, on my initiative. This reunion was very healing. Thanks to the universe I was able to hug you and receive your love before your departure in June 2021.

I am still healing that wound. I stopped ignoring it, thinking that it will pass. Biodecoding and biomagnetism, the obsidian egg, conscious eating and meditation have helped me a lot.

Behind every craving and EMOTIONAL HUNGER, there is something to heal. If we give it a chance and look inside, we will find the answers.

Blessings and much compassion on our healing paths

Lu Del Mar – Regenerative Alchemy Coach

#Emotional detox #live food #detox